I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
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Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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