I feel like abortions should bother me more
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize