Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize