I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize