I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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