The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
He better not be in your backpack
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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