Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
