I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
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