Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
