I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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