worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
