we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Of course I have a pirate flag
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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