He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
