i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
