i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
oh god was she eating orange peels again
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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