you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
