I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Watching her eat just hurts me
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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