And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Your cock deserves a montage
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
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