Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
