More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!