Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.