i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize