I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.