Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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