I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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