Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
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I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
As shirtless as possible
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Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text