So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize