Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize