So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
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Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
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His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.