last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.