i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
