Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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