why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
No idea. I blame fireball.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.