Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

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(512): Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good http://tfl.nu/r9g3

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(419): View more from Ohio

"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.

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(419): "Morning after" poops are always like, interesting. http://tfl.nu/5eje

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(303): View more from Colorado

Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years

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(303): Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years http://tfl.nu/kvc8

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(713): View more from Texas

My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it

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(713): My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it http://tfl.nu/zhky

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(586): View more from Michigan

May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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(586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works

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(978): he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works http://tfl.nu/o828

Replies (11) Good night (4294) Bad night (1642) Order T-Shirt
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(415): View more from California

they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..

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(415): they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car.. http://tfl.nu/4cqo

Replies (11) Good night (3183) Bad night (818)
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(360): View more from Washington

He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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(360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"

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(978): You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!" http://tfl.nu/193a

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(714): View more from California

She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.

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(714): She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar. http://tfl.nu/8m40

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours

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(203): I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours http://tfl.nu/8ktt

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(631): View more from New York

I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"

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(631): I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path" http://tfl.nu/xcvb

Replies (14) Good night (1392) Bad night (373)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face

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(519): Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face http://tfl.nu/itm4

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(248): View more from Michigan

I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.

(586): View more from Michigan

...how and why.

(248): View more from Michigan

PARENTS ARE MAGIC.

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(248): I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS. (586): ...how and why. (248): PARENTS ARE MAGIC. http://tfl.nu/swgi

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(225): View more from Louisiana

I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.

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(225): I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight. http://tfl.nu/p6i2

Replies (5) Good night (518) Bad night (181)

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