You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
