Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
