I heard we made out
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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