Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
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Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
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One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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