i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
