ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
3pm strippers are depressing
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize