my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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