I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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