O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We have started to decorate penises.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
