YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize