I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
