Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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