I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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