I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
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i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
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