haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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