How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
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