i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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