I wanna bring you to show and tell
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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