I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off