quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends