She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs