names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say