Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me

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(810): View more from Michigan

My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.

(1-810): View more from Michigan

either way. win, win.

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(281): View more from Texas

i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks

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(703): View more from Virginia

we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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(970): View more from Colorado

Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day

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(802): View more from Vermont

We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"

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(616): View more from Michigan

You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off

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