You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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